Parental alienation occurs when one parent’s efforts to consciously or unconsciously brainwash a child combine with the child’s own bad-mouthing of the other parent. In severe cases, the child won’t want to see or talk to the alienated parent.
Being that women are the custodial parents 83% of the time, it is more likely the mother to alienate her children from the father. Despite the fact that child visitation is supposed to be in the best interest of the child, a mother can deny the man visitation without any consequences. Fathers often deny mothers child support as leverage to coax the mother to keep up with her end of the bargain. However, not paying child support can be punished by the courts and is often to label fathers as deadbeats. The only string most fathers have to pull, is one punishable if pulled. If they do not have proof of their claims they can be found in contempt of court and even sometimes if they do have proof it falls upon deaf ears.
Often times mothers can use the law to reinforce her justification for alienating her children. Order of protections and restraining orders can be placed on behalf of the child so that the father can no longer see them. Some are warranted, however, some are put up based upon the woman’s side of the story and a narrow perception that is.
False allegations can arise out of spite for the partner leaving such as:
- Domestic Violence
- Child Abuse
- Child Molestation
There are stories of Quincy citizens being alienated from their children even when the opposition had evidence to the contrary. Order of protections are thrown out like candy at a parade in Quincy Illinois, thanks to the local Domestic Violence shelter Quanada. The false allegations in Adams County is great business for local lawyers which thrive on the public misinformation spread by the shelter. It is also a great way to use the court system to force the father away from his own children. Sending your son/daughter a card, would be in violation of an order of protection on behalf of the child and could land you in jail.
One person with a notorious name in Quincy Illinois is Sean Heeger. Though his name was walked all over and framed by the media as an abusive, irresponsible person, he was actually in a situation of Parental Alienation when his supposed “eavesdropping” occurred. They never said that his reasoning for recording the Court Psychiatrist was due to Mr. Frank Froman requesting how he was going to defend himself against his ex-girlfriend in the order of protection. They also never said that the order of protection he was fighting, had both no hard evidence against him and was under the stances of “harassment”, a non-violent selection. They also failed to mention that his ex, Kathryn Angela Davis, was a member of a bible study cult known as “The Way International” and that her mother, a high ranking member, ordered her to use the ‘mark and avoid’ tactic in order to make it easier to convert his son into the cult. None of this occurred until AFTER Sean refused to join “the Way International” and was with Kathryn for a total of eight long years. Did he just turn into a child-abusing, psychopath over night? No he was never a psychopath, this happened over years of his ex’s controlling and abusive behavior. During the Eavesdropping hearing, Kathryn went to the hearing (breaking her own order of protection) and used his psychological health as a weapon to file for an order of protection on behalf of their son. Years after, Sean was found to have Multiple Sclerosis which explained his paranoia and confusion during the Order or Protection trial and his confrontations with Froman. He was not insane at all, but no empathy was applied to find the real problem, she was believed, he was labelled and his life was ruined. Sean however has yet to see his son to this day and both order of protection have been extended indefinitely. Details to this case can be found at firstname.lastname@example.org
The media likes to distort cases like this to favor the woman because bad news travels faster than good and gains more views and more views sells more advertising. The man is often the perpetrator because no one likes viewing the woman as the perpetrator when it comes to Domestic Violence. The media would also get serious criticism if the truth were told and people may even possibly lose their jobs. Feminists would label it as a sexist article, since feminism is political and self-appointed representation, it would be taken as gospel, Feminism is that strong when it comes to censoring information.
The next time you hear a man being accused of any of the above examples, stop to think as to whether you’re hearing the whole story. Especially if that accuser is the man’s ex-lover or mother to his child. More than likely there are bigger details that are left out in order for the media to draw attention.
Advice to Alienated Fathers
It’s wrong and you shouldn’t be facing it. However, if you are here are some things you can use to your advantage.
- Our Family Wizard Custody App for phones
- Make a Video Journal, If you have an Order of Protection against you place it on the internet on the child’s 18th birthday or try placing it up without violating your order of protection. (Seek legal Advice before attempting)
- For their birthdays/special days, fill out birthday cards place the stamp on them, take pictures of it and save them.
- Write about your side of the story on a blog, Do NOT use angry language or criticize the mother (those words CAN and WILL be used against you in court) base your story on emotionless first-hand accounts. Place a disclaimer that anyone going to the site is going to it of their own accord, this will keep you out of any further “harassment”. Refer to your child in the THIRD person, do not talk as though you are talking directly to them because that can be considered contacting them through a 3rd party. “I wish you were here” vs “I wish he/she were here” NOTE: every order of protection is different do NOT consider this legal advice, ask a professional before attempting this.
- Volunteer, keep a record of it, and use fellow volunteers as character witnesses: this sounds weird, How would this help me with parental alienation? It makes an impression about your personality to the judge. If you use this, and place this next to the “Our Family Wizard Custody APP” information collected, and it shows that she didn’t allow you to have your children it may emphasis your character as better. Of course, if you’re choking on child support payments, volunteer work will be impossible….
- Keep record of your work hours, child support payments, and your own bills. Also keep track of gifts that you buy your children.
- Take as many photos with your children as possible and post them.
- Never put information up on Social Media that reveals the mother to be a bad person. This could be used against you, it’s best to keep it on file and use it in court by surprise.
- Never record yourself questioning your children about the mother, it will make you look as though you’re coaching them and you DON’T want that! It will label you as a child abuser in other people’s eyes and in cases like these, what others think really DOES matter.
- If you can afford it, hire a private investigator and use the information in court.
Be prepared, alienated children usually do one of the following:
- Seek out the other parent; out of curiosity
- Seek out the other parent; out of contempt for their current guardian
- Completely Rejects the Alienated Parent
- Does not seek out the other parent, but has curiosity about them
- Seeks out the other parent; but doesn’t have enough information to find them
Do NOT accept your child as lost until they denounce you in person AFTER seeing your information. They may denounce you the first time, which is why it is so important to build up evidence to show that they have never left your heart, even when they were gone.