Domestic Violence is notoriously viewed as a female problem among a pool of male perpetrators. It has been constantly known as ‘Violence Against Women’. However, this is not the case, nor has it ever been the case.There is evidence that Domestic Violence perpetrated by the female has also been in practice for years even before this happened.
WHERE DOES TRADITIONAL INFORMATION COME FROM?
Most Domestic Violence shelters have highly outdated, cherry-picked, data that distorts the entire picture when pertaining to the subject of Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence is actually more of a human problem than a female problem. Studies have shown that, in half of reported cases, the violence between partners was mutual. Some information is taken as far back as the 1980s.
WHAT CAUSES VIOLENCE?
Almost ALL domestic violence shelters that are government funded base all Domestic Violence incidents on the theory of male dominating the female. This is a format that is based on the feminist ‘Patriarchal Theory’. Within this theoretical lens, men are the abusers due to their ‘instinct’ for dominance, and women are the victims due to their natural instinct of submission. If a woman does hit a man under this lens, she is only doing so in self defense. With this system of belief, an inaccurate picture of Domestic Violence is painted. In most cases, abusers have signs of personality disorders, and are not ready for relationships to begin with. Get this, personality disorders are are found more in females than in males! There are several ‘red flags’ that you can look for when spotting an abusive person BEFORE they enter your life:
- They speak often of previous relationship and how awful the last person was to them (this includes ALL relationships such as parents)
- They’re trying to have an affair with you & puts their partner off as a bad person
- They are quick to spill their feelings out on you, even if they don’t know you yet
- They’re “Clingy”
- They ignore their other responsibilities to focus on you (work, children, Divorce hearings)
- They sleep with you within the first few days they met you (and it’s not a 1 night stand)
- They come back to your house uninvited right after they first encounter you
- They’re nice to people’s faces and talk ill about them behind their backs (what are they saying about you?)
- They have an addiction, such as alcohol, drugs, or sex these are signs of not being able to face their problems in a constructive way and use drugs as a way out. It shows they have things they have to work on in their lives and may only be using a relationship as a way to cope with their lives.
- When it comes to women: she spouts how she doesn’t need anyone (people who don’t need anyone don’t spout it out, it’s a sign of insecurity)
THINGS TO NOTICE
If you know of a shelter in your area, here are a few things you can do in order to see the truth.
- Find out for yourself-if you want to know about any government-funded shelter, just file a FOIA or Freedom Of Information Act. You have the right to know what your money is being used for.
- Go to the shelter yourself, or have a friend go there to see what happens.
- Ask Questions-ask a question you know the answer to, if they are misinformed attempt to educate them; if they insist they’re right…you know something is wrong
- Look at their website- Look to see if they use gender neutral language, if they DO use male & female pronouns, then look which pronouns refer to the perpetrator and which to the victim. Inform them and request that they correct it, if not, there’s something wrong.
COMMON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MYTHS
Myth: 85% of Domestic Victims Are Women
Fact: This statistic is from the National Crime Victimization Survey from 2001, this information was taken through Archival resources. Since men are more likely to feel uncertainty of reporting and less likely to view partner aggression as a crime less males report. When this happens female victims are inflated.
Myth: When a woman engages in domestic violence, it is only for self-defense.
Fact: Self-defense only accounts for 10-20% of female partner aggression
Myth: Marriage is a Domestic Violence trap
Fact: Marriage is the safest relationship, less than 5% of Domestic Violence incidents were among married couples.
Myth: One in four women are abused at some point in her lifetime
Fact: Men and women experience abuse at relatively the same number, however the number of victims varies depending on what the study defines as aggressive.
WEBSITES THAT DISPLAY FALSE INFORMATION
It is hard to find websites that show accurate information. This is a list of ‘red flags’ to spot distorted sites.
- Using female pronouns to refer to the victim and male pronouns to refer to the perpetrator
- The claim that Domestic Violence is about control over another person
- Making women to look like the main population abused
- Almost all government funded websites will not have up-to-date information, because that would mean being ‘politically incorrect’
- Anything that has “Patriarchy” or “oppression” in it
WEBSITES To Go To